There's some things on my mind.

There are a couple of people on Facebook who I'm friends with in real life, but for some reason they've removed me as a friend (one was possibly hacked a while back).  I've been trying to add them back, but for some reason, they're denying my friend request or something.  So that's kind of weird  (Gabi, you know part of the story if you're reading this, just to remind you, "DON'T FLERT WITH MY SISTER", haha).  Anyway, this is readable on my Facebook profile now (I added the Flog application) so if you're on Facebook and see this, and you've gotten friend requests from me that you refuse to re-approve, I'd kind of like to know why.  Hmm, maybe I'll ask you what's up the next time I see you in person.

I'm in the mood for some punk rock again.  I've had this one song by Outer Circle in particular, It Must Be Wonderful



Explaining time again
The question that defends
how come he never smiles?
why hide his happiness?
A season to laugh
A season to cry
Im just living life in respect to my times

I'm just passing through
trying to stay true
I'll stay true to me
you stay true to you

I've walked the narrow road
theres a whole lot more to go
hope yours is filled with sunshine
right now thats not my world
its not my place
and thats alright
Ive found in life to many joy is to survive

I'm just passing through
trying to stay true
I'll stay true to me
you stay true to you

I think back
and he's sad
all the high hopes that I had
years past
so fast
in the end I just hope I last
meanwhile I might smile
but its grace mile after mile
through grace I carry on and that grace
will lead me home

I've walked the narrow road
theres a whole lot more to go
hope yours is filled with sunshine
right now thats not my world
its not my place
and thats alright
Ive found in life to many joy is to survive

Well I made it to Redding House of Prayer and back on what little gas I have.  I'm still needing some money to come in so I can buy some more gas and food.  No, I'm not awake from anxiety from this, actually.  I'm just going to keep going, and not freak out about it.  I don't know why I'm awake right now though.  (My client still owes me money...)

And finally....Todd Bentley.  I'm pretty much tired of all the people attacking him.  You may not agree with his teachings, and you don't have to.  But I totally believe God is using him in this revival.  And you know what?  This revival is not all about Todd.  The revival continues even when Todd has engagements elsewhere.  People are getting saved, healed, and delivered.  Yes, I know the Bible says that false teachers will come performing signs, wonders, and miracles.  But that doesn't mean the real teachers won't have them.  Jesus told us that signs, wonders, and miracles will follow those who believe as well.  As far as his teachings go, there are some teachings he has that are a bit radical, but I haven't heard anything too far off base or anything that contradicts scripture.

I'm believing for a check in the mail.

Otherwise, I don't know how I'm getting to RedHOP tonight to lead worship.

Let me back up.

I had a sozo this past Monday.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it's an "inner healing" session that Bethel and a number of other churches have.  One of the big things that was broken off of me was the spirit of fear, especially the fear of rejection by other people.

Fortunately, God had been showing me that I'm totally not rejected by the people here in Redding.  I may have been rejected back at home, but there's a different type of mindset there, and a religious spirit over that area.  If I ever go back to the Raleigh, North Carolina, I want it to be because God is going to use me to change the atmosphere there.  I know if I go back, a lot of people will be offended, and quite frankly, that's ok with me.

Anyway, I have not felt nearly as nervous or fearful since my sozo.  Praise God.

The whole "rejection thing" tried to jump back on me tonight.  But I realized I'm not being rejected by anyone. 

So to be totally honest, I've got friends.  That's not a problem.  What I'm wanting now is to find the woman who's going to be my future wife.  I'm definitely whole because of Christ, and it's not that I need to find her to feel good about myself.  But I definitely know it's God's will for me.

I guess that makes sense.

Van Mason, who has become a spiritual father for me, has told me that you won't feel ready for it.  I definitely don't feel ready for it.  But I know God told me tonight to make sure certain things in my life are taken care of, and he'll make me ready, even though I don't feel ready.

I've mentioned before that there are certain ones I think might be interested in me.  Well, of course, I only want one!  And the problem is, there seem to be mixed signals from each one, and while I get the feeling "I think she likes me", it's not enough of a hint for me to actually act on it, I guess.  I have dated before, but I've always known she liked me ahead of time.  And, of course, none of those worked out.  I don't want her to completely give it away, but I'd kind of like more of an obvious hint.

Here's what may seem really crazy to some of the readers.  Here at Bethel Church, I don't know every woman's on dating.  Each person has a different opinion.  Some are cool with dating, some prefer courting, and some just want a guy to listen to the holy spirit to find out if she's the right one.  I can't go wrong with the holy spirit (I can go wrong listening to just my emotions though, and mistake it for the holy spirit, but at the same time I want to have more faith that God will keep me rather than fear that the devil will deceive me, and I've been learning to tell the difference between the holy spirit and emotions).

But in all honesty, my future wife is what I'm keeping an eye out for.

But more importantly, I'm going to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven.  Fortunately, I'm happy being single too!  I'm happy with what God is doing in me, and I'm expecting him to do more!

I'm kind of bummed that, for some reason, I have not been paid for the logo I made, nor has my tax rebate from the IRS come. 

Anyway, I know God is going to take care of me until the 1st, when I get some money from back home via paypal.

Redding House of Prayer still needs funds, more than I do.  We need to be out of the current building and into a new one by the beginning of the month of July.  However, the funds haven't come in for Redding House of Prayer.  I encourage you to give to that at http://www.redhop.org . Your prayers are also needed.

These are just my thoughts on Jason Westerfield's message on Sunday night at Bethel.

Most of us are knee deep or waste deep in the glory of God.  There are some who are only ankle deep, and they've just been introduced to it.  We are now finding that God wants to do healings on a regular basis.  We are even seeing more resurrections from the dead lately.  They've been reported by people at the Lakeland, Florida outpouring and have even made the news in some places (I've posted one here on the Holy Uprisings blog recently).

But God wants us to go in this deep.  We need to get to a point where we're swimming in the glory, where it goes over our heads.

When I first started swimming, I was afraid of the deep end of the pool. I was not confident in my ability to swim, and was afraid that if I made one mistake, I would drown.  But over time, I would find I could swim just fine in the deep end.  Quite frankly, I do prefer to be in the place where it's not over my head, maybe about neck-deep.

But when it comes to the glory of God, we need it to go over our heads.  Jesus said in the Bible that we would do greater things than he did.  The healings and resurrections from the dead are nothing that Jesus didn't do.  We haven't even begun to see, on a regular basis, other people walk through walls, be supernaturally transported, etc etc on a regular basis.  Jesus did those things too.  And greater things we would do.

We're afraid, I think.  We're afraid to take that risk.  But that's what faith is, a risk.  And it's impossible to please God without faith. 

What's there to be afraid of?  Probably rejection from others, both in the world and the church, because the church has taught that a lot of this stuff isn't for today or isn't biblical, or we're just plain crazy because we believe in the impossible.

OK, now I've got something to say about some things not being biblical.  If something is happening that goes against what scripture says, it's not biblical.  But there's a lot of stuff out there that some claim is not biblical, but the fact is it doesn't go against the Bible.  Also, I've heard it said by some that the Bible comes first, and the holy spirit comes second.  The problem I have with that statement is it's the holy spirit who authored the Bible in the first place, through people.  It's the holy spirit, that part of the trinity (God) who defined the Bible.  The Bible doesn't define God.  And in the Bible it even says Jesus did so many works that it couldn't be contained in books; the world couldn't handle it.  I do believe the Bible is the written word of God, and it's inerrant.  I won't argue against that.  The holy spirit is not going to contradict his word, which he wrote.  He may, however, contradict your understanding of it.  But it doesn't mean that certain things that come up that don't show up in the Bible are wrong.  Otherwise, all Christians should be against automobiles, computers, etc etc and I shouldn't even be blogging, because those things are not biblical.  A lot of people have a problem with Todd Bentley talking about portals, certain angels (like an angel of finance, for example), etc etc.  There's nothing in the Bible, however, that speaks against that.  Now I wouldn't make any doctrines out of this stuff, but I don't have a problem believing that there may be an angel of finance and that portals exist.  None of the stuff Todd has taught, from the understanding I have of the word (which isn't perfect, but neither is your understanding of the word) and the personal relationship I have with God, contradicts the scriptures.

Anyway, what Todd Bentley is doing in Lakeland, Florida is just scratching the surface of where God wants to take us.  You're going to see greater things than this, and we're going to be swimming in the glory.

Just one last note, everything must be birthed out of love. OK, what's walking through walls, being supernaturally transported, etc etc have to do with love?  When you get a gift from someone, if you love them, you're probably going to receive it.  The father wants to give us the capability to do these things.  We receive this because we love God.  And these gifts are very useful to love others was well.  If someone is trapped inside a building, and there's no way in, to save that person, you're going to have to walk through walls.  If a disaster happens somewhere, and you want to help and would help but don't have the means to get there, but God wants you to be there, that's a good case for a supernatural transportation, and it's birthed in love.  So don't think I'm saying this just so Christians can wow people.  There are practical uses for this kind of stuff.

I may post some more stuff on this later.  I also want to get into some controversial stuff here, that I'm sure not everyone will agree with, but I want to do some more studying on it first.